Taken care off

I'm not a young girl anymore, anyway  I spent my live adjusting to solitude, is it to late to dream about the day that I would finally could be taken care off?  I don't have any maternal instinct what so everbut how could i have learned it if half My childhood was spent taking care of my mother's câncer.  I see that on animals that leave their babies behind cause they didn't had the knowledge if somehow something happened to their moms. Does it work that way with us too?  I see myself like that cool aunt, but haven't growned in my heart to any other business. Maybe I'm so needy that I have to get over that.  Creating, living on an imaginary world sometimes it helps. I can be whoever I wanna be, I can dream I have tons of friends. That's what made easy for me to get involved with "The Amazons", the dream of living surrounded with loyalty ,friendship, courage, adventure.  So,  I guess that helping me, would also feed my life, would get me out of my dark side even if is only on my mind. Maybe I wouldn't feel this lonely and sad all the time. Maybe I could work on something more defying, more suitable to my brain. Maybe I could finally be happy.

Sincerely yours
R G